Lemon Juice
by J.J. Larsen
Summary: Sam realises what he wants but he can't have it.
1. Chapter 1

_**This story was written because I think Sam and Kurt would make an awesome couple. Maybe not long term material but they would definitely be cute together and I think the writers of Glee missed a huge opportunity when they didn't put them together. Sam is my favourite male character from Glee; I can't deny that any longer. Remember to review please!**_

Disclaimer - I do not own the characters and this is purely fictional. The right for the characters remains with the creator and I in no way suggest any sort of ownership of them. Fiction is just for fun.

Lemon Juice

Sam and Kurt had sat at the lunch table, no one else had joined them yet but they knew that the rest of the glee club would soon come flocking in through the doors and surround them.

"Oh I almost forgot." Kurt began as he reached into his designer bag. "You're going to need this." Kurt slid a bottle of lemon juice across the table and Sam smiled. It had been a long time since he'd confessed to putting lemon juice in his hair to try and get the surfer boy look. No one had ever followed him up on it or even questioned it; they just took it as standard.

"And you'll need this." Sam slid a small container of face cream across the table to Kurt. He picked it up and looked at it, analysing everything that was in it.

"How did you know I used this?" Sam giving him face cream had meant to be a joke, like the lemon juice, but Kurt seemed a bit more concerned.

"I saw you had some last time I was round." Kurt's expression had changed from amusement at having lunch with a friend to one of actual concern for the gift Sam had given him. "I thought it would be funny next time you made a blonde."

"No one's made a blonde joke for a long time Sam; and you haven't been round my house for a long time. When did you buy this?"

"If you don't want it then I'll take it back." Sam reached out to take it but Kurt moved slightly out of his reach. "Kurt, it wasn't supposed to mean anything like that, it was just supposed to be a funny gift. Like the lemon juice."

"You bought this last year didn't you?" Sam didn't reply. He could've lied and said no but he couldn't lie to Kurt, it was just something inside of him that couldn't face lying to him. "This is really expensive stuff. This isn't the kind of money you spend on a joke. Have you been carrying this around for a year? Waiting for chance to give it to me?" Once again Sam didn't answer. His words had completely deserted him and he'd made a fool out of himself in front of Kurt. "Sam, I thought we'd been over this-" Kurt's sentence was cut short when Blaine and the rest of the glee club joined them at the table.

"What's that babe?" Blaine asked as he kissed Kurt on the cheek, noticing the container of face cream. "Did Sam give that to you?"

"Yeah." Blaine shot a look across at Sam; a look that didn't go unnoticed by Sam or Kurt. "I dropped it in class and he gave it back to me just now." Kurt quickly added. Blaine's looked slightly embarrassed at misunderstanding the situation, without knowing that he hadn't misunderstood it at all.

"I got worried then. I thought you were buying my boyfriend presents." Everyone laughed, although Sam and Kurt's laughter was more out of nervousness and embarrassment than actually finding anything funny.

"Kurt's not really my type." Sam lied. He could lie to Blaine; that came easily and far too frequently.

"Well I did have my worries about you to begin with." Blaine's tone of voice was sometimes a bit more big brotherly than anyone actually liked. "When I first met you I thought you were gay. You dyed your hair and you had these amazing abs." While Blaine was stereotyping he wasn't exactly wrong. "But you're with Mercedes now, right?" Sam shook his head.

"I'm still trying. She broke up with Shane but she said she's not sure she's ready to date other people yet. She needs to figure out who she is first." Saying it came easily to Sam because he wasn't upset. He only pursued Mercedes to try and shake the gay rumours; that's why he'd dated Quinn and Santana too. Mercedes wasn't at the table and neither were a few of the other glee club members, so the talk about her and Sam was quite frequent when they weren't around.

"I might be a lesbian now an' all but them froggy lips were definitely worth pretending to be straight." Santana always liked to interrupt; her opinion apparently meant more than anyone else's. Sam was still uneasy around Santana, mainly because of her constant referral to his lips. Every time she said something about them he would hear the song "Trouty Mouth" playing in his head. That was an embarrassing thing to recover from.

"If you weren't chasing after Mercedes like some sort of lapdog then I would definitely think you were gay." It was one of the rare occasions that Puck was with them. Normally he'd be off 'dealing with business' as he liked to call it - although no one actually knew what that meant - but occasionally he would actually join the others for lunch.

"You're some sort of rare hybrid between geek and jock. It's almost like anything is possible with you. I had my suspicions when we were dating." Again, although her opinion wasn't asked for, Santana had to have a say in the matter.

Soon the table had broken out into a full on debate about who could be considered gay and then that person trying to defend why they weren't gay. The only people that didn't get involved were Sam, Kurt and Quinn - they remained silent.

Eventually the conversation got too much and Sam took his tray, said his very brief goodbyes, and then walked out of the cafeteria. It wasn't really the conversation that had got to him; it was more seeing Blaine and Kurt all loved up and romantic together. It was sickening; every time he turned around he would see them holding hands or kissing or just being all gooey romantic together.

"If you want to avoid suspicion then you shouldn't leave so quickly next time." Sam stopped and turned around when he heard Quinn's voice. She was carrying her bag over her shoulder and walking a few paces behind Sam.

"I'm not talking about it." Quinn took his shirt sleeve and pulled him into the glee practice room. They were usually safe to talk about anything in there because only glee club members and band members ever used it and that was always after school. "Quinn, I said I'm not talking about it." Sam wanted to storm off but he'd had a special connection with Sam since they'd dated. He cared about her more than he cared about most of the other girls in Glee.

"You don't have to talk about it but you're going to listen. Sit down." She pointed to a chair and Sam sat down, not really wanting to but Quinn could be quite scary and forceful when she wanted to be. "Look, I know the rest of the Glee club don't know about you and your little secret." Sam looked confused, as if he didn't completely understand what Quinn was talking about. "You're gay Sam. You told me when we were dating. I didn't have a problem with it then and I don't have a problem with it now. What I don't understand is why you're lying to yourself and making yourself so unhappy."

"I'm not unhappy." Sam couldn't hide his emotions; he was always bad at that. His face was downturned and he tried his best to put on a smile but it wasn't going to happen when all he could think about was Blaine and Kurt together.

"You're chasing after Mercedes like she's going to make you happy and what happens when she finally decides she's ready to date you? What happens when you ask her out and she says yes? Are you going to have to come out to her as well just so you don't break her heart? You got away with not telling Santana but if you keep playing with people's hearts you're going to eventually have everyone know anyway." Since Quinn's pregnancy she's been a lot more rational. Before she had been mean and vindictive and after she had been desperate but since she'd accepted Rachel and Finn being together she had calmed down and managed to give some good advice.

"I know but I don't know what else to do. I can't have the one person I want in the world because he's with someone else."

"Does Kurt know how you feel?" Sam nodded. "Did you actually spell it out for him? I know men, straight or gay it doesn't matter, you have to tell them exactly what you're feeling and let them figure it out. He's not going to read your mind and you can't keep living with the expectation that he'll finally realise exactly what you want."

"He knows I'm gay. He knows I like him. When I first came here, when we were doing the duets thing and he decided he didn't want to sing with me. I went over to his house and one thing led to another and-"

"You slept with him?" Sam was shocked; he almost fell off the chair at Quinn's assumption.

"No! God no! I like him but I wouldn't sleep with him straight away. We just sort of made out for a bit. He's a nice guy and I like him. A lot." Sam's tone was sad; Quinn wished she could've made everything better but it wasn't her place to interfere. All she could do was give advice and hope that Sam listened.

The end of the day rolled around and Sam was about to climb into his truck when he felt a tug on his shirt sleeve. Not many people tugged on his shirt sleeve. If it were Rachel she would have tapped his shoulder, so would Kurt. Any other guy would've just spoken to him and assumed he would listen. Only one person ever grabbed his shirt sleeve.

"Quinn." Sam said more out of just acknowledging her presence than actually wanting to talk to her. "Can I help you with something?"

"You're going home? To do what?"

"Listen to some sad country songs and go to sleep." Sam didn't have the energy to lie anymore. His whole life had become a huge lie so the smaller things didn't seem important. So what if people knew he listened to sad country songs and went to bed early; at least they didn't think he was gay.

"You're coming with me. I need help with a song for Glee." They both arrived at the glee club practice room and Sam almost turned on his heels and left upon seeing what was waiting for him.

"Sam?" Kurt sat in one of the chairs, legs crossed and checking out his fingernails as usual. He had worn a hat today and so it came down just slightly over his eyes, which was a good thing for Sam because he loved looking into Kurt's eyes and knowing he couldn't made it easier not to.

Quinn dragged Sam into the practice room and Sam began to get deja-vu from earlier that day. She pulled up a chair opposite Kurt and sat Sam down; then she locked the door and went and sat at the piano. She put a couple of work books onto the piano and then turned to the boys.

"You're not leaving here until you both know how the other one feels." Quinn turned around and began writing in the workbooks, as if she'd completely forgotten about the boys there.

"Kurt-" Sam was about to confess everything. He had nothing to lose and he had someone there to comfort him if things didn't go right; but Kurt interrupted him.

"Sam don't. I know what you're about to say and I don't want to hear it." Kurt's voice was the most emotional out of the group. He could convey a whole range of emotions in just one sentence and when he was upset it struck everyone like a drum. He had the amazing power of making other people know what he was feeling. "No that's not true. I do want to hear it. But I can't. I like you, I really do. I think about you all the time. When I wake up and when I go to sleep. But I don't think about you when Blaine's around. I'm sorry, I'm with Blaine." Sam wasn't used to the speech from other guys. He had heard it from girls - most recently from Mercedes - but it somehow hurt more coming from Kurt. He cared about Kurt more than he would ever know and if people thought Sam's summer fling with Mercedes was interesting then he was glad they didn't know about his times with Kurt.

"Kurt please, just listen to me-" Kurt shook his head and a rare occurrence actually happened - a tear fell down Sam's cheek. Sam didn't usually cry, crying was for girls, but there was a part of his body now that had taken over and told him that if there was ever a time to let a single tear fall then this was it.

"No Sam. I can't. I have to go." Kurt snatched the key to the door off of the piano and unlocked the practice room door.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked.

"You don't want to know." Kurt replied as he left the practice room. Quinn looked shocked. She had clearly only caught the end of the conversation and stuck to her word about not interfering. Sam looked like he understood everything and clearer than he ever had before.

"Where is he going?" Quinn asked.

The single tear that was making its way down Sam's cheek fell off of his jawline and struck the floor with a tiny splash. "To Blaine's."


	2. Chapter 2

_**I apologise for the delay in getting this chapter up. Had a few things going on and my laptop got stolen so I lost all my work (including all my story plans) so had to try and remember how this story was going to go. Oh it was also going to only be a one shot but since people liked it I decided to continue it. This doesn't follow the TV storyline but some references may be made. Remember to review please.**_

Disclaimer - I do not own the characters and this is purely fictional. The right for the characters remains with the creator and I in no way suggest any sort of ownership of them. Fiction is just for fun.

Lemon Juice – Chapter 2

That night Sam had gone home and listened to some sad country songs and gone to sleep at eight. When he lay down on the mattress he could feel the tension inside of him. Normally when he went to bed he would feel calm and relaxed but laying there he could feel the clenching of his fingers every time he thought of Blaine and the tightening in his chest every time he thought of Kurt.

The hardest thing for Sam was living with Kurt and Finn. He hadn't realised it would be a problem when he agreed to go back to McKinley, in fact he had forgotten all about Kurt while he was away. The feeling didn't last long though and as soon as he saw Kurt again the feelings came rushing back.

There was something about the way Kurt looked that just seemed perfect. His pale and delicate skin to some people would look ridiculous but to Sam it gave Kurt an innocence that he'd never seen before. Even Kurt's frame, while it looked fragile and that he would break with a slight gust of wind, Sam knew there was toughness beneath that kept him going. It was all these things, and more, that meant Sam would toil and struggle day and night not to think of Kurt.

Every day at school had become awkward and it always would be as long as Kurt was there. A part of him looked forward to graduation because then he could make it so he would never see Kurt again. But did he want that? Did he want Kurt out of his life forever? Sam wondered if, when Kurt was finally gone, would he actually be able to get over him or would he go chasing after him in New York.

If it were anybody else Sam would know exactly what to say. He'd sit them down and explain that Kurt didn't like them back then they were wasting their time. Unrequited love wasn't romantic, it was foolish. Sure they made great literature and that the world was filled with the kind of stories where love struggle to begin with and then won through because nothing was stronger than love. Sam wasn't living in a piece of classic literature though.

"He's eating outside today." Quinn sat down next to Sam in the cafeteria. The days had blurred into one and Sam had found himself inadvertently staring at the door while holding a bottle to his lips – not actually drinking from it though. If anyone else actually paid attention to the glee clubbers then they would realised that something wasn't right with Sam. But as it was everyone ignored them and the other glee clubbers were too busy caught up in their own melodrama to notice him. Sam wandered through the hallways like a ghost most of the time.

"What?" He knew he shouldn't have replied like that, it was rude, but he was taken by surprise and it was the first word that came to his mind.

"Kurt. All the glee club are outside, I was going to join them. You coming?" Sam shook his head. He couldn't go outside and sit with the rest of them and pretend that everything was okay. He did that enough during rehearsals. It hurt him every time Blaine touched Kurt or every time they shared one of _those_ looks. What did Blaine have that Sam didn't? Apart from Kurt. "You can't lock yourself away from the world just because one guy isn't interested."

"You wouldn't know." Sam replied bitterly. He didn't want to be mean to Quinn, she'd been there with him through everything he'd gone through while he was at McKinley, she didn't deserve to be treated like that. But he stuck to what he believed, she didn't know what it felt like to be him.

"I've had my share of heartbreak."

"You went from Finn to Puck to me back to Finn and now you're with Joe. You've never really had one person that you want to be with." Quinn should've taken offense to this, anyone should have, but strangely she didn't. In no uncertain terms Sam had just trivialised every relationship she'd ever been in, but she knew that Sam wouldn't do it unless he was actually hurting.

"I thought I was in love with every one of you. Apart from Puck, that was a drunken mistake. But the point is I moved on, and you have to move on as well. You can't get yourself caught up on one person because the world is full of people and you've only met a very small percentage of them. Now come on outside." She didn't wait for an answer, she knew that Sam didn't actually want to be alone. Sam realised that at least if Quinn was there then he didn't have to hold the lie by himself. Kurt didn't want it getting out and neither did Sam but Quinn could help them keep it between them. He was thankful he had at least one friend.

When they got outside Sam saw everyone sat around the lunch tables talking and laughing. No matter what was happening someone in the glee club was usually laughing. Mercedes was nowhere to be seen again which was probably a good thing because otherwise there would have been questions about the two of them.

"Sam!" Finn called out as he saw the blonde approaching with Quinn by his side. "Where you been buddy? It feels like ages since we last saw you." Finn wasn't wrong. Whenever they were at home Sam was either asleep or listening to music with headphones and when they were at school he was usually doing the same. It might as well have been like he wasn't even there.

"Act like he's not even there." Quinn whispered. Sam knew she wasn't referring to Finn but to the smaller and more delicate man sat beside him.

"Needed some escape, just missing home really." Sam lied. He'd become better at lying over time and now it just flowed out of him.

"I know whatcha mean." Rory replied from another seat on the table. The group cleared way for Sam and Quinn to sit down and Quinn quickly gave Sam a reassuring look before she turned and began chatting to Joe.

Everyone talked for the rest of the lunch period and Sam thought everything went well. After the brief moment with Finn no one else had asked any questions about why he had been so absent lately. He had remained slightly reserved at lunch and held back instead of asking or interrupting with questions about what was going on with everyone else. He could have quite easily given his opinion on some of the recent events with the group but that could have led to more questions so he kept his mouth shut.

Sam was the last to get up from the table and noticed that the rest of the group had already gone. He said his goodbyes to Finn and headed off to his next class. As he crossed the field to get back inside the school he heard the breathing of someone behind him and the clicking of shoes on the floor. The clicking was fast but not heavy so whoever it was wasn't running but walking very fast.

"Missing home?" Kurt's tone was angry and Sam turned around to see him a little red in the face and slightly worn out from trying to keep up. "You expect everyone to believe that you're missing home? Rory's family aren't even in the same country and he's managing fine on his own. You realise that no one was buying what you said right?" Sam turned and continued walking, he wasn't going to waste his time on Kurt anymore. "Blaine's been asking a lot of questions about you recently." Blaine had been asking about him? "What's wrong with Sam? Shouldn't you talk to Sam? I think Sam's lonely. Is that what it is Sam? Are you lonely?" Kurt's voice hadn't been this angry, it was like Sam had just told the whole school that they were in some sort of torrid love affair when really there was nothing between them.

"What do you want me to say Kurt? That I'm only interested in you because you're the first gay guy I met? That you're just a phase that I'm going to get over and someday I'll settle down with a nice rich guy who will make me happy?"

"Have you even tried to find someone else?"

"Who? There's no gay guys around here in case you haven't noticed. Well, actually I take that back, there are but they all have major issues." Kurt knew the comment wasn't directed solely at him but he was included in the umbrella insult. "You had it easy, just waltz into an all-boys school and someone wants to take you under their wing because you're so precious and adorable. It's like when a puppy wanders by. You don't kick it back out to live on the street, you take it in and care for it because you have to, not necessarily because you want to."

"Blaine loves me and I love him!"

"You need to get over yourself. You need to open your eyes and realise that Blaine will be with you until he gets someone better. You may be perfect for him in this small little town but what about when you're in New York and he comes to visit you? What about when some rich guy wants to make Blaine happy? Do you think he's going to consider you then?" They hadn't even made it into the school yet; they had stopped on the bleachers and were having the discussion where anyone could see.

"Is that how you feel about me? That you'll be happy with me until someone better comes along?" Sam looked genuinely hurt and it was an odd look. No one had ever seen Sam hurt before, he was usually the kind of guy that pursued things or didn't let anything bother him.

"It might be, I don't know."

"Then why are you pining over me?"

"Because I loved you. I thought we could be together."

"I didn't stop us being together. You dating Quinn and then Santana stopped us being together. What was I supposed to do, just walk up to them and say 'oh sorry, you're boyfriend's gay and in love with me so if you don't mind I'll just take him'? You honestly wanted me to say that?" Both of them were getting more worked up than they had anticipated. They were already late for class by fifteen minutes and had already resigned themselves in their mind to the idea that they were going to skip class.

"I was confused. Don't tell me you've never been confused about what you want in life."

"I've been confused, a lot. I tried to be straight at one point, I even dated Brittany, but I never tried to blame it on anyone else. You need to accept that maybe I'm not the one to blame here and that maybe we're not together because you missed your opportunity."

"Do I only get one?"

"Sorry?" Their voices had calmed to a more understanding level. Now the argument had turned into more of a discussion between best friends.

"You said I missed my opportunity and I want to know, do I only get one opportunity?"

"What do you want me to say Sam? Do you want me to say that if I ever break up with Blaine then I'll come running to you? I don't know what's going on with anything in your head but I'm with Blaine and I can't see a future without him. If you want to know if you get another opportunity then I will say if Blaine and I break up then you have as much chance as the next guy. It's not that I don't love you, I just love Blaine as well."

Crying was for girls but Sam found himself doing more and more of it over recent times. It wasn't full out crying but a few small tears creeping down his cheek. This time however he wasn't crying because he was sad. Kurt had just told him, cryptically, that he loved him. He knew that Kurt could never directly say it but he had also learnt to read between the lines with him and so knew what Kurt meant when he said it.

"So if you and Blaine break up…"

"I love him Sam. I'll do anything I can to make it work between us. I'm not just going to run to you at the first bump in the road. I've been through a lot and it's made me realise that I can't just count people out because I don't like one thing about them. If people did that then the world would be a lonely place."

"But you and Blaine don't fit together." Kurt smiled and knew it was Sam's way of trying to get him to reconsider their relationship. The talk had gone from heated arguing to gentle talking.

"You don't know him. You've spent so much time staying away from him and deciding that you're not going to like him that you haven't given him a chance." A light bulb went off in Kurt's head and a sly smile crept across his face. "I'm going to set you and Blaine up on a little date."

"I don't think…" Sam began as his face contorted into a mixture of confusion and surprise.

"Not a real date, don't worry. He wants to find out more about you and you should spend more time with him. Hopefully this will work out so that you can see Blaine's not such a bad guy and he can hopefully feel better about spending time with you. I'm so excited." Kurt took up his bag and ran off into the school, probably to find Blaine.

Sam couldn't describe what he felt inside, he didn't think anyone had ever felt like it before. It was a combination of nervousness and happiness. He didn't want to spend time with Blaine because, although he had to admit he was good looking, he sometimes came across as very annoying. But on the other hand he was on good speaking terms with Kurt and he couldn't do anything to wreck that.

Looks like he had a date with Blaine then.


	3. Chapter 3

_**This chapter proved harder to write. From the moment I submitted the other chapter I wanted to write this but every time I tried I just couldn't do the storyline justice but hopefully this will be okay. This chapter takes an odd turn but just stick with it, I liked the direction it took. Also as a side note, I desperately hope the Glee writers don't write Sam out of next season like they did at the start of 3. He's been severely underused but he has so much storyline potential.**_

Disclaimer - I do not own the characters and this is purely fictional. The right for the characters remains with the creator and I in no way suggest any sort of ownership of them. Fiction is just for fun.

Lemon Juice – Chapter 3

The Lima Bean was Blaine's go to hang out spot. He'd been going there since joining the Warblers and he didn't want to change. There was a certain feel about coffee shops that made Blaine feel like he wasn't as young or as naïve as people thought him to be.

It was no surprise then that when Kurt had arranged Sam and Blaine's "date" that the Lima Bean was the first place to be suggested. Sam didn't want to argue, he couldn't deal with arguing with Blaine about where they were going to go. He would have preferred to avoid the Lima Bean if he could have though because after all it did have the complete feel of 'Kurt and Blaine's special place'. It was their place, before Blaine came along no one ever really went there.

The lights at the coffee shop were imposingly bright, so much so that Sam wanted a table by the window just so he could get some natural light shining through instead of being blinded by the fluorescent ones they installed.

Sam had never felt lonelier as he sat and waited for Blaine. He'd already ordered himself a drink and was sat at the table on his own. What made things worse was that it wasn't an actual date. If it had been an actual date then Sam wouldn't have been so depressed sitting there waiting, but as it was he was just having coffee with his friend's boyfriend. Kurt's boyfriend. The words still ached in his head every time he thought that Kurt wasn't available anymore. If he'd just been man enough to tell Kurt how he felt at the time then everything would have been different. So much different.

"Someone sitting here?" The voice was unmistakably friendly and was grating on Sam's nerves more and more every time he heard it. Blaine had arrived.

"Of course not." Sam chuckled slightly, trying to hold his displeasure of Blaine inside. "Take a seat." Blaine had already ordered. Sam must have been too lost in his own mind to even realise he walked in. Could Blaine tell what Sam daydreamed about? That every time he saw Kurt or Blaine he had flashbacks to himself and Kurt making out?

"So this is nice." Blaine smiled as he slipped into the seat and took his coat off. His red bow tie was prominently displayed against a white shirt and it made Sam's stomach turn. How could Kurt be into this guy? He dressed like a child going to a wedding. Sam's style was much more laid back and easy to maintain. A simple pair of worn jeans and whatever t-shirt he first got hold of. It sounded lazy but the look worked for him. He was the typical All American Boy – only he liked other boys. "I've been worried about you." The tone actually took Sam by surprise. There was something odd about Blaine's voice. Something wasn't present that Sam hadn't been expecting. It was concern. But not just concern. Genuine concern.

"It's difficult being away from the family. I feel like I don't belong everywhere I go." He hadn't expected to open up so quickly and so much to Blaine but he had something about him that meant whatever you told him would stay safe. Sam wasn't just talking about missing home either. He wanted to tell people the truth. Everyone still thought he was this straight jock guy who was chasing after Mercedes but he wasn't. He was a long way from that.

"So you're just missing home?" There was emphasis on the word "just" as if Blaine knew more than he was letting on.

"What's Kurt said to you?" Blaine's face immediately went from one of concern to one of a quizzical nature. Sam realised he'd made a mistake and immediately regretted everything. Blaine didn't know anything, he was just asking polite questions to get to know him better and now Sam was about to ruin everything. He'd worked so hard at keeping his personal life personal and while it was painful at times it was worth it a lot of the time. Imagine what people would say if they found out that the picture perfect boy next door Sam Evans actually liked guys.

"Is there something you want to talk about Sam?" Blaine's next move was unexpected. Sam had concluded that most of Blaine's moves were unexpected but this one really shocked him. He reached across the table and took hold of Sam's hand. Blaine's hands were warm, probably from the coffee, and felt safe. Sam couldn't remember the last time he'd felt safety like that.

"I'm gay." The silence felt like it went on forever. In the few seconds that no one spoke Sam could hear every conversation going on around him. Every screech of a chair sounded louder and every grind of the coffee machine seemed to echo through the coffee shop like a siren. He shouldn't have said it.

"How long have you known?" As soon as he heard Blaine speak he realised everything was going to be easier. Blaine was probably the most understanding person when it came to the subject of sexuality.

"When I transferred. I'm not sure what happened. I think I'd always known because it wasn't just that I woke up one day and started liking guys. I'd always had an appreciation for the way guys look but I thought that was just in a jealous kind of way, that maybe I wanted to be them. Then when I transferred it kind of hit me that I wasn't jealous of guys, I was attracted to them." Sam held his tongue and didn't want to continue the story. He didn't want to reveal to Blaine that he realised he wasn't jealous of guys when he felt an attraction to Kurt. Or that his suspicions were confirmed when he made out with Kurt. It's not something you tell their boyfriend.

"And you're happy?" Damn Blaine, why did he have to be so nice all the time? Couldn't he had stormed out and declared that there wasn't room for another gay guy around here? That would made it easier to hate him and Sam's mind really wanted to get back on track to hating Blaine right about now.

"No." He didn't know why he said it. Wouldn't things have been so much easier if he'd just said that he was happy and that now someone else knows that it makes things all that much easier for him? But apparently Sam's mind wasn't working with him today; it was throwing him into traffic every time a question was asked.

"Anything else you want to get off your chest?" No. God no. There was no way he was going to say yes to this question. Instead he stayed silent. "Is it a guy?" He should've just said no. Silence was like screaming yes at the top of your lungs. "Someone from Glee?" Stop asking questions that he can't answer.

Sam couldn't lie. He had never been a good face to face liar. Yes, if people didn't ask then he could pretend it wasn't true, but if someone asked him a direct question then he couldn't lie. "Will you tell me if I guess?" Sam didn't need to. He'd be able to guess as soon as he said the name. "Finn?" Sam shook his head, relieved slightly. If Blaine was on that track then he wasn't going to guess any time soon. "Puck?" Continuing with the jocks, that was good. "Rory?" There weren't that many guys in Glee club and Sam was desperately running out of time to think up something to say instead of "yes I have a crush on your boyfriend."

"I don't think you're going to be able to guess it." Sam mentally slapped himself when he heard the words escape his lips. You don't challenge someone if you want them to stop guessing.

"Artie?" He'd stopped with the jocks, which was understandable because there weren't many in Glee club. Rory had been the sign that Blaine was getting a feel for which kind of guy it might be. "Do I get a clue or should I keep guessing? I mean I'm kind of running out of guys here."

"You." What was Sam doing to himself? Why had he said that?

"I'm sorry?" There was a pause, a pause that lasted for far too long for anyone's liking. "You like me?" Sam chewed his bottom lip not actually wanting to say anything. He was only half lying. He did like Blaine and their little date had made him like Blaine a considerable amount more, even if it was just because he was comforting and safe. But he couldn't tell Blaine that he really wanted Kurt. He nodded. "Wow." There was nothing else to say. There really were no other words.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't want to just unload everything on you." Half true. He was thankful that he could but he really didn't want to dump it all on Blaine.

"If you ever need anyone to talk to I'm here. If you can't talk to anyone else then you can always come to me. Okay?" Sam nodded. He wanted to cry but he'd done far too much crying recently and it was over Kurt. Now he wanted to cry because Blaine was being so nice to him. "So, where do we go from here?"

"I don't know." The words were weak, the way Sam felt.

"I won't tell Kurt if you don't want me to. It'll just be our little secret." It was supposed to be an innocent joke between friends but the words made Sam's stomach turn. He was already keeping a secret from Blaine and now he was supposed to keep a fake secret from Kurt too? Was the secret fake though?

"Thanks." It wasn't until the few seconds of silence had passed that they realised Blaine was still holding Sam's hand. It wasn't romantic, or at least it wasn't supposed to be. Originally it had been a gesture of support, to show Sam that he wasn't alone. But now that Sam had told Blaine he had a crush on him then it became more. The hands held together meant something more than support. Blaine wanted to withdraw his hand but it would go against everything he's just told Sam. If he pulled away after Sam confides in him then it looks like he's rejecting him.

"Do you want another coffee?" Sam shook his head and Blaine used the question as an excuse to remove his hands and hold up his cup, gesturing to it as if Sam didn't know what coffee was. "So…me?" Sam knew the date would be a disaster. It wasn't quite the disaster that Sam had expected though. At least he hadn't told him about how he was still interested in Kurt and that Kurt still kind of liked him too. "So who else knows about…" Blaine looked around. He wouldn't normally have worried about saying it but Sam was obviously trying to be very discreet. "About you being…you know." Blaine's cautiousness made Sam smile.

"Kurt and Quinn." They were an odd pairing and everyone knew it. Why would you tell just those two people? "Quinn kind of found out when we were dating and Kurt…" His mind trailed as he remembered what happened when Kurt found out. "Kurt's intuitive." Blaine smiled and nodded.

"That he is."

There was a small vibration that took both of them by surprise. It was Blaine's phone. He quickly checked it. Text message. Nothing he needed to worry about.

"What's the time?" Sam asked, noticing that Blaine had his phone out.

"It's a little after two."

"Crap, I've gotta go." He didn't. He had nowhere else to be but he was getting too friendly with Blaine to hang around any longer. He'd already spent more time with him than he had been expecting and so he needed an excuse to leave. "I said I'd call home." There was no time limit on when he needed to call.

"Well this was fun. It was good getting to know you." They both stood up and walked around to the same side of the table. How were they going to say goodbye? Blaine took control and leaned in for a hug which wasn't uncommon. He was a very friendly guy. "It's not going to be awkward between us right?"

Sam didn't know why he did what he did. All he knew was that his mind wanted to. But then again it didn't. As soon as it happened his mind cursed him and wanted him to just run as far away as possible. He kissed Blaine.

It wasn't unpleasant. Blaine had surprisingly soft lips and Sam had learnt a thing or two about kissing in his time so he didn't regret doing it. Well, he did regret it, but not because it was bad. He regretted it because he'd been chasing after Blaine's boyfriend for a long time and now he was kissing Blaine. And Blaine had a boyfriend.

_Blaine had a boyfriend._

That was reason he should be kicking himself for kissing him. Blaine had a boyfriend. An attractive boyfriend. Who Sam actually did have a crush on. So why was he here, still kissing Blaine who he didn't know he might have a crush on until earlier that day? There wasn't an answer for it. There couldn't be an answer for it. If there was then Sam didn't know it.

Sam pulled away. He had expecting Blaine to but surprisingly he hadn't. He hadn't kissed back though either. It was like he was too stunned to react. In his defence Sam accepted that. He wasn't expecting to kiss him at that point so how could Blaine have known any differently.

"Sam."

"I've got to go." And with that Sam left the Lima Bean without another word. What was he going to do? This was a bigger deal than having a crush on Kurt. He'd just kissed Kurt's boyfriend. There was no reason for doing it. There was no excuse for doing it. There was no remorse for doing it. Sam didn't feel guilty at all.


End file.
